– of days I couldn’t feel myself



I stayed awake some nights willing to fight with the blight. I cried, I yelled, anger took hold of me, I fought, I smiled; all at once.

I cried, I yelled, anger took hold of me, I fought, I smiled; all at once.

I fought, I smiled; all at once.

Those days of depression when I couldn’t bring myself back to who I was and to what I did.

Those days when I couldn’t open my hands because they were extremely busy in making a tight fist so that they can bear all the pain that was making my chest feel heavy enough; as if someone had put some heavy weight on it.

Those days when my clenched fist somehow got opened because it had to cover the mouth tightly such that they couldn’t let an inch of sound come out of the mouth.
Those days when even the slightest beam of light irritated me and the only light that enlightened was the green LED notification fluctuating from my mobile.
Those days when my stomach craved for the food mom had made with all her love but I couldn’t eat because my mouth refused to have it.

Those days when my eyes forgot that they know how to cry as those drops even forgot their ways to come out.

Those days when talking to someone was very rare for me yet I searched for love, that little love which could have helped me not to get lost in the woods. The love I found inside me after several failed attempts of finding that outside.

I didn’t give up on my life,

I never did.

I stayed strong and will stay forever.